Standing before the open casket, the nervous young pastor said, “I realize this must be a very hard blow for you, Mrs. The angel says, “Yes, but what will you do now?”Ī newly-ordained pastor, in the first days of his first call, was attempting to console the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. God is talking to one of his angels and says, “Do you know what I have just done? I have just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth. “But you must give me a raise,” said the pastor. After the meeting the chair of council told the pastor: “We are very sorry, Pastor, but we decided that we cannot give you a raise next year.” The church council met to discuss the pastor’s compensation package for the coming year. Words of wisdom: “There’s a fine line between a long, drawn-out sermon and a hostage situation.”

He took the precious book out of the sheep’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. “No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come with me this morning, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”Ī devout old shepherd lost his favorite Bible while he was out looking for a wayward lamb. The curious usher bent over to retrieve it for her and whispered, “Do you always carry your TV remote to church?”

Smartt was fumbling in her purse for her offering when a large television remote fell out and clattered into the aisle. It just ‘taint yours, and it ‘taint mine,” she replied. It’s tainted!”Īfter a few seconds he whispered, “But, mommy, why was the money tainted? Was it dirty? “You don’t want that money, honey,” she whispered in his ear. Timmy didn’t want to put his money in the offering plate Sunday morning, so his mother decided to use some hurried creative reasoning with him.

Pour some sugar on may joke